Boy Crazy!

OK, so yes my last post was about being my own best boyfriend and I still stand behind that post. However...

In the past week or so, I am suddenly remembering how much fun it is to be boy crazy. You know, when you flirt with anyone halfway attractive when you're out in public. I am completely in this zone as I type this blog. The best thing about being boy crazy and being in a... shall I saw... older age bracket is that your flirting skills are at their height, especially if you have been single for most of those years that brought you to that age bracket.

For example, you know how to smile at the bartender for just long enough for him to notice you are paying attention but not so long that you seem like the creepy cougar at the bar. Another example is winking... when I used to wink at people I looked like John Cleese in a Monty Python skit, but now my confidence and age has allowed me to perfect the casual wink, again without making someone feel that they need to run away screaming.

I think another wonderful thing about being boy crazy at my age is that not only are your skills in top form, but there's a confidence level that reflects the feeling that if you're not with a guy, it's cool. You're strong enough to head home alone and see the good night for what is was, a nice night.

I occassionally get wrapped up in the stress of my life that my confidence level fades and I don't get to appreciate the little things like being boy crazy, but that's not the case today. I'm heading out in full force. I'm winking, I'm smiling, I'm laughing and tossing my hair simultaneously and I am enjoying every bit of it.

Whenever I get down girls... remind me of this post.

My Own Best Boyfriend

Yes. I have decided that I am my own best boyfriend. Let's face it, I know exactly what I want to do, when I want to do it and where I want to do it. When I screw up and feel down, I buy myself my own flowers and let's face it, in the sack, I know exactly what works.

Let's just say, I have been dating someone and well... he's a nice guy and pleasant and smart, but anymore I just don't know if I am interested in being with someone more than once every other week. I enjoy taking care of myself and even though there are times, like when my car was broken in to, that I really need someone to cry on, I guess I realized that the best person for me, is me and maybe my dad... and you know... all you girls out there.

Maybe I am coming to the conclusion that, at 33, let's face it, I have figured out other outlets for my emotional and physical needs.

I MUST KNOW...

Who out there is watching "Charm School: Rock of Love Girls." I just... I just don't know what to say. I mean, how do these girls live? And Heather, my Heather I think my love for that one is lost.

Oh, and I have hung up on the Real Housewives of Atlanta and it is exceptionally difficult for me to cut out an entire reality television series.

THIS is hospitality??

Had a little bit of a rude awakening this morning.

I prepared myself for another day in this crazy "news" room, and yes, I will explain the quotes in a follow up post. So, I get ready to head out to the office and I decide, rather than walking, I am going to drive so I can stop and get some Starbuck's. And lo and behold, there is my lovely new convertible vw beetle, with a big fat smashed in window.

Now, I lived in a large city for about 13 years. I lived in many many many different apartments and actually had a few cars while I lived there and not ONCE was a broken in to. One month in a little southern town and what happens... vandalism. The crack head that smashed my window didn't even take anything. It wasn't even a robbery, it was just a vandalism.

Needless to say, I am sort of missing my Boston commute to work. You know... the commute on the bus in southie, surrounded by drunks and homeless people. I mean, at least those people left me alone.

Back in the Land of Cotton

So, I think I should get back on this blog. Basically, I am back in the south and I have quite a few thoughts on what it's like to be back in the land of Suzanne, Julia, Mary Jo and Charlene. In all honesty, I have no idea how those women made it in this world, in this Dixieland South. Oh, now I remember... it was a T.V. show.

Well, I'm here to tell you boys and girls, life here is no sitcom.

Look for new stories involving southern boys, shrimp and grits, sunny weather and being a woman in a place where people still find you odd if you do not strive to be barefoot and pregnant.

Oh It's On!!

That's right! My favorite guilty pleasure, "Rock of Love" is back on and it's even trashier. In all honesty though... I miss Heather aka Tatters! I mean, each week at elimnation I was on the edge of my seat to see what sort of Vegas- stripper dress she would be wearing.

Tuesday's Rotation, Back from Vacation

The following rotation came from a friend of mine with outstanding musical taste. ENJOY!:

Apparently, I'm in the mood to listen to the bands that would have been in heavy rotation had I had a college radio show in the 90's. Granted, there would have also been a lot of the Cure/Depeche Mode/the Smiths/Morrissey/Joy Division/New Order and the Trash Can Sinatras. But rather than go that obvious, here are 5 other songs that I would have played:

1) "Be My Light, Be My Guide" - Gene: it was a bonus track on the US edition of "Olympian", and probably my favorite song on the album.

2) "If I Can't Change Your Mind" - Sugar (on "Besides"): I can't tell you the number of times I listened to this after telling some guy how I felt about him and getting turned down.

3) "Our Story" - The JudyBats (from the album "Down in the Shacks Where the Satellite Dishes Grow"): late 80's/early 90's alt-rock band from Tennessee, they were definitely a college radio station kind of band. It was hard for me to pick just 1 song by them - I still listen to all their albums. But I went with this, because there are few things that say boarding school/liberal arts college chick teen-angst than "I want you, but I really want to leave you too."

4) "Soul and Fire" - Sebadoh (from "Bubble & Scrape"): Sad. The end of a relationship. The lead singer, Lou Barlow, put out an album called "Emoh" a couple years ago - I recommend that as well.

5) "I Can't Escape from You" - The The (from "Hanky Panky"): a whole cover album of Hank Williams songs. So good. I love Matt Johnson's vocals.

Two honorable mentions:

a) also check out "Down in the Shacks Where the Satellite Dishes Grow" by the JudyBats- one of my all time favorite song lines: "I'm sorry but when I left you, you were an asshole, on those cold nights when you were out there, running 'round with your drunk friends"

b) "True Happiness This Way Lies..." on Dusk by The The: The intro is too true, but spoken, so I left that song off. Still, who hasn't felt like this? "Have you ever wanted something so badly that it possessed your body and your soul through the night and through the day until you finally get it? And then you realize that it wasn't what you wanted after all. And then those self-same, sickly little thoughts now go and attach themselves to something, or somebody, new. And the whole goddamn thing starts all over again."

Damn - now I'm all nostalgic. I want to go and dig out some mix cassette tapes from boarding school and college...

Cougar or Hyena

Something very new has happened to me recently. I am not sure whether to it a trend quite yet or not and I am also not sure how comfortable I am with this occurrence. Basically, in the laws of the dating jungle, am I a cougar or a hyena?

I have just returned from a trip abroad. It was a wonderful experience and along the way I encountered many men and many boys. At this point in my dating career I am an expert on boys. However, meeting men on this trip was a new experience for me. While on my journey, I came to the conclusion that is was time for me to hang up the boys and try focusing on hanging out with some men. However, sometimes, when you make a decision about changing the path of your life, it can be difficult to embark down that road less traveled.

Right when I made this very adult decision, I came across a lovely man, a native of the country in which I was traveling. He was a great conversationalist, wearing an impeccable suit. He was smart and interested in speaking with me. I was so excited that I had made my decision and that I was embarking down this new road. And then... he left.

Now, if any of you reading this actually knows me, then you will know that I am the kind of person that must have instant gratification. So, when my first venture in to the adult world, did not pan out, well... I kind of lost interest in the venture. Furthermore, the night was still young and my traveling companion and I were not interested in packing it in for the evening.

We stuck around and hung out a bit longer with the adult's friends and wouldn't you know it, I happened to hit it off with another one of the guys in the group. This guy was an old standard of mine and by that I mean he was a boy... 22 years old a recent college graduate and to top it all off... the kid was a bookie. Yeah... well... where I was traveling, this was not an illegal endeavor.

Needless to say I forget about my foray in to male adults and proceed to carry on with this very young, very cute, very tall but not so bright little boy. The night goes on, a few bottles of champagne are passed around and then I am on my way back to his place for something else that I am familiar with at this point... meaningless, alcohol induced bad sex. The next day, I wake up, grab a cab home and that is the end of it.

This brings me to another recent event. That event being the alcohol saturated, meaningless holiday, New Years Eve. I was hanging out with friends, having a great time but considering heading home to polish off the rest of the chips and dip from our party. Then this kid starts dancing with me and chatting me up. An adorable kid, this one, but definitely a kid! 24 to be exact. This was a completely unsolicited occurrence. So... the kid is in to me and well... I am sort of in to him and well... you know where this is going, right? I mean, I had spoken with many "men" throughout the evening, but this kid was the only one I actually engaged.

The thing is, I have never really attracted younger guys. Old guys... they love me. I am not sure when or how things shifted in my sexual life, but apparently they have. What is it with this new demo? Is this how women become cougars? It just sort of happens? I mean, is there a demo of men that all of a sudden are attracted to older women? Is this a trend I am facing or just a fluke? Whichever or whatever it is, I don't want to embrace it.

I voiced my concern with a very wise friend of mine. This friend also happened to be there when both above initial instances occurred. This friend told me that I should not worry, that I wasn't the cougar. A cougar selects it's prey. I, on the other hand was more like... well... chum???

So, as long as I remember that a cougar is a predator and really... I don't have the time or energy for that, I think I will be ok. Actually, I think I am more of a Hyena. You know, traveling in a pack, laughing all day long over a shared meal... yes... I am much more of a Hyena.

With all of this said, if my next partner is under 24 years of age, I might have to reevaluate some things in my life. Until then, the search for adults continues...