Guest Blogger for Tuesday's Rotation

Thought I would get you readers involved in this blog as well so today we will have a "guest" blogging their Top 5 favorite songs running through their iPod right now. So... here it goes. From my home girl in the Upper East Side:

1) No One- Alicia Keys- When did she get so saucy! Mary J Blige better look out...girl is sounding FIERCE! (yes, I said FIERCE)

2) Tim Gunn's Guide to Style Podcast My new guilty, guilty pleasure. I wish I could put Tim Gunn in my closet (fat chance) he would just pop out and dress me!

3) You Haven't Done Nothin- Stevie Wonder Stevie should be on EVERY rotation. I thought I'd mix it up with an oldie but goodie:) Quite

4) Los Angeles- The Rosewood Thieves A great little toe tapper courtesy of my friend Marc's band. Check them out! (shameless, shameless)

5) Inside and Out- Feist Bee Gees B side + Canadian Songstress (no not Celine)=Music GOLD... Delicious!!!!

So... Did You Call Him?

Well, thought I would give you guys an honest follow up to my "Dead Man Walking" post. Here it goes.

Since November 8 I have definitely felt good about my decision to let the boy go but being the kind of person that lacks, shall we say, self control I was pretty nervous about whether or not I could make this decision stick. I mean, this was a ten year relationship!! I normally don't make it past the 3 week mark.

OK... so... I did fall off the wagon, but only a wee bit. I got right back on that wagon, I promise. I sent him a stupid text message. It didn't say anything, just one of those, "let's see if he responds" kinds of text messages. I know, I know... you don't need to say it, but if I didn't tell you then, that wouldn't be honest. Anyhow, he did not respond and that was that. My feelings were not hurt. I actually appreciate him not responding. The last thing I need is for him to feed in to my emotions when I am at a weak point.

I would like to say that I did successfully avoid social activities that I was invited but were taking place in his area of town. I knew if I attended, I would have had a couple of pops, become tipsy and then would have been tempted to call him. So, dodged a major bullet there.

Now, this weekend... I have a social engagement in his neighborhood again, one that I cannot opt out of, however, a very good friend of mine came up to me yesterday and stated that, the minute we embark upon this section of town she would confiscate my phone.

So, again... thanking my lucky stars for good friends. You guys all rock!

Wish me luck and wish me good funny stories to come.

I mean really...

I was sitting here looking over my last post and just as I was doing that, I looked over and re-read the "about me" section of this blog and it says, "Dixie Carter fan" and well... you know what... Julia Sugarbaker would stick to her guns in my situation. So... I'm looking to her for some inspiration. Julia would have told that man exactly what she needed and never looked back.

Focus... Focus... Focus

Dead Man Walking

Well, this was kind of a rough week for me. You see, I have had this little love of my life hanging around for about 10 years now and on Monday I felt like it was time that I finally let him go.

I agonized over the decision for the entire weekend. I was sick to my stomach, was in the bathroom every 3 minutes and then crying at night, because I knew I had to tell him exactly how I felt and there was a major chance that my feelings for him would not be reciprocated and I would have to walk away from the relationship.

You see, this kid is that guy that you once dated a long time ago, but now you just hang out when you're single, or not, get drunk and then screw. For me, I went along with this for such a long time, because I felt as though if I pushed for more I would lose this boy forever. I continued to not talk to him when he had a girlfriend and then talk to him again when he was single. This, by the way, did make me feel terrible. I constantly felt as though I was not good enough for him, that I was good enough in the sack but not good enough for anything else.

So, I pulled the trigger, I met him, I told him I wanted more. I told him that I loved him and that I have always loved him, but that the current state of our relationship was stunting other relationships that I had been involved in or might potentially get involved in. Holding on to this boy, never let me fully give myself to anyone else. I always felt this love would be in my life and so I always had a fall back, thus turning most of my relationships in to very shallow encounters. Alas... I do not want that anymore.

What happened... as I suspected... he wants nothing to change. At 36 he is happy with the state of his relationships and our relationship. But, I felt differently and so I told him I would have to leave forever. And I left at that moment. (and then I went home drank a bottle of wine and cried myself to sleep)

Then, something happened, I woke up. I woke up and I was clear. After years of hiding my feelings, they were all out there in the open. I didn't have to be nervous or confused about us anymore. I was honest and open and direct about how I felt and what I needed and it was amazing. I am sure I will get to a point where I will miss my little sweet love, but stick with me girls. I know I can make it through! I know I can stand by my convictions! I know I need more and can get more than a bad drunkin' lay from someone I harbor a deep love for. Right? Right? Tell me I'm right!!?

Ok... may the force be with me...

Tuesday's Rotation on Thursday

Still mixing it up with the days of the week. Working on one last project and then I hit the road! Have started a club at work, where everyone in the office makes mix cds and passes them around to each other, which means... I have about 55 new songs that I might never have heard. A few of the new items provided by co-workers that are getting heavy rotation.

1) Hot Lunch Jam- Irene Cara- Yeah... this was the song playing in Fame when everyone is dancing around the lunch room. Never thought I would be listening to this at 32.

2) Multiply- Jamie Lidell- much love to my assistant editor, his mix rocks!

3) Private Eyes- Hall and Oates- see above note.

4) Oh My God- Mark Ronson featuring Lily Allen- never listened to hear, except for that time she was on the Today show, but I dig this song.

5) One- Aimee Mann- Such an awesome cover.

By the way... my office is wicked cool!

INFO FROM OUR SENSUAL FUSION GIRLS

Hey kids... the following is some information you may not know...

Born Cheaters?

In a strange study conducted by Julie Fricker of Swinburne University, while those with “avoidant attachment” behaviors are obvious candidates to stray, it may be those who are the most invested in a relationship that you need to worry about. Surprisingly, those who poured a great deal of time, money, and experience in their relationship were willing to cheat because the consequences of leaving a lover altogether were actually higher than those posed by infidelity. The bottom line? Those committing more facets of their existence to the relationship seem to be the born picks for straying.

Our Taste In Men Is Evolving…

Men with more traditionally feminine features, such as full lips, wider eyes and thin, curved eyebrows were found by a study in the British Personality and Individual Differences Journal to be much more desirable to the average woman as long-term prospective partners than their more masculine full-jawed, larger nosed, smaller eyed counterparts. Feminine facial features and overall healthy appearance seemed to indicate which males were most widely selected as potential mates, contrary to what traditional evolutionary studies may indicate. Here’s to sexual evolution!

All this and more found in Miss Yvonne Sensual Fusion Newsletter.