The thing is... guys aren't the only ones who need a little non- committal action and they aren't the only ones that, after the action has been had, need that one night stand to hit the bricks. Unfortunately, there are times when that guy you picked up, just can't get to steppin' fast enough.
Here's the story, I was trying to get over an ex and decided one way to do so, was to go out, grab a guy and have a fun filled night of dirty sex. That's right, dirty sex, because when you're drinking beers at a show at a dive bar, there's nothing sweet or clean about it.
OK, spotted the guy... tall, cute AND alone, (no friends or girlfriends to compete with). Made my move and before I knew it, I was making him buy me a slice after the show and telling him he was giving me a ride home from the bar.
We get to my house which is located in a section of the city with absolutely no on-street parking. So, I tell him to come in, but that there's no need to look for parking, he can just leave the car double parked with the hazards on. Which, should translate to: "YOU WILL NOT BE STAYING HERE LONG", right?
We get in to my house and I put the moves on him, no conversation, no banter. We start making out and then we hit my bedroom, I grab a condom and tell him to put it on and then... it happened.
He apologized.
Apology? for what? Oh, I get it, it's over. And now, here is the issue... I have no desire to try for round 2, I certainly don't want a discussion, and I definitely don't want him spending the night and attempting the obligatory pity sex the next morning so he can save face. All I want to do is try to salvage that half empty carton of ice cream that has been in my freezer for 6 months, sit on my couch, watch some south park and pass out.
But alas, it was not that simple. He wanted to talk and he wanted to talk about the fact that he wasn't sure what was going on with his GIRLFRIEND at the moment! Next he asked for my number! Actually, he said, "Hey, I don't even have your number!" as to which my response was, "Oh, don't worry about it." Come on, it's 2am and I have received a big fat nothing from this escapade, do we really need to exchange digits? However, he was mortified by my response. I took his number.
I couldn't figure out what this guy was still doing in my living room. Thankfully I had office of the parking clerk on my side, because I told him he was probably going to be ticketed for double parking and he actually took this hint and left.
My question is this, is there some way to push a one night stand out of bed? What are your obligations to the ONS? Or is this just what we have to put up with in order to get some non committal action? Sort of like Russian Roulette. I mean, you got someone who wants to play, but you don't know what they're playing with til you get them home.
OK... I know you girls have some stories out there, so... let me hear them.
3 comments:
And it begins...
You people have no idea what you're in for...UNLEASH THE HOUNDS!
You go Miss Girl!
Here's a thought (from the guy's perspective): When you get him into your apartment, tell him how much it turns you on to get it on with a stranger, no names, no chitchat, no bullshit, and then to part ways immediately with no obligations, phone numbers or awkwardness. That way, he (hopefully) gets the hint AND thinks he's playing some kinky game. Hey, it would work on me!
Some guys aren't as "guy like" as we want to assume. Some guys are like girls! They want a nice long spooning session afterwards so they don't feel used :)
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