IN THE NEWS...

Hey all! Great friend of mine is a wonderful source for answers to all things sex related. You can often find her doing a talk back on the Today show, an interview for the September issue of Cosmo or yapping away on her Sirius Maxim 108 radio show. She has given my blog a shout out in her newsletter so I'm giving her a shout out on my blog.

To subscribe to her newsletter go to: www.sexualitysource.com

Items in this month's newsletter include answers to the following:
To Snip or Not to Snip and How Badly do You Want those Boobies?

Another great feature is Product of the Week which this week happens to be:

Andrew Geoffrey Vineyards offers aphrodisiac quality boutique wines with Old World flair. Visit http://www.andrewgeoffrey.com to order yours. Raise your serotonin levels and satisfy your palate with this perfect Napa Valley Cabernet Sauvignon accompaniment. There’s not a bad vintage in the lot from this very limited, select vintner. We recently had the privilege of being wined and dined by the winemaker himself, and can attest that pairing a glass with dark chocolate for an anti-oxidant mega-dose is out of this world…

Tuesday's Rotation

Let's just say I was in a bit of a funk this week and my musical selections from the pod reflect this. So, sorry they're a bit of a downer, but looks as though I am on an up-cycle so next week, hopefully will be a bit more upbeat...

1) Head Over Heels- Tears for Fears
Not only feeling a bit down, but nostalgic as well. However, this is still one of the best songs ever made.

2) Stockholm Syndrome- Yo La Tengo
"No don't warn me I know it's wrong, but I swear it won't take long." As the previous post should alert you, this could be my theme song.

3) I Just Don't Think I'll Ever Get Over Losing You- Colin Hay
I know... sad, right?

4) When Your Minds Made Up- Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova
The Soundtrack to "Once," you must get it now.

5) Liar- Built to Spill- My BFF turned me on to this band. Reminds me of the two of us listening to The Ocean Blue in high school.

Memo from the Office of Job Placement

So I have had some pretty good break up lines administered to me in the past, but lines for me to stay are few and far between. However, I do have one really good one that makes me laugh to this day.

I used to be cutie cute and of course had no idea. I was seeing a guy who was on the rebound and of course, I didn't care. All I wanted was a fun fling with an honesty challenged attorney. Yes, he had his faults but to give him credit, he was smart and funny, argumentative, great in the sack and he lived around the corner from me, which I thought was great placement. Later I learned, it was not.

I could tell the boy (36 years old) was definitely hiding a few things. What tipped me off was whenever we would go back to his house, his phone would ring non-stop. Then he used the excuse that his contractor was calling him. If you have ever waited for a contractor to call then you know, that you will skip meals, call in sick to work and wait three days to use the bathroom because you're waiting for that call. But as I said, I was younger and really didn't care.

Now, as I said, this guy was a lawyer and well, I had some lawyer acquaintances of my own, one who happened to be looking for work in the same area of practice as the boy. We'll call this friend, Michele and I introduced them to each other and he really had some good ins for her.

So we're hanging out, watching Red Sox games, drinking wine, having great sex while his phone rang 30 times in a row in the background.

Then, one morning, I was done. I was sick of the phone calls and after a few weeks that telephone ring gets annoying. I confronted the situation. What did I care? I really had nothing to lose, except for some good sex and man... I kind of wish I would have gotten one more session in before I left. But, I laid down the law and promptly got out of bed and started getting dressed and told him I was out of there.

Now, at this point, a guy who wants to salvage the relationship might say something like, "No... please... wait, I want to be with you" maybe "I'll deal with the situation" or possibly "Let's talk about it" but oh no, instead this lawyer's argument was, "But Michele needs a job!" It took a few minutes to process and then I realized this was his argument for me to stay. I shook my head laughed to myself and walked out.

I would like to say that this was the end of our relationship but unfortunately, due to my lack of self control, I did see this person again and THEN the relationship ended. Apparently, after I walked out that morning, he did not deal with the situation. I saw him again and while I was walking home from his house a strange woman followed me back to my house in her car. Then... that was the point the relationship ended.

So... please tell me... someone else out there has laughed about an outgoing Hail Mary excuse. And follow up question does anyone else out there have a similar lack of self control? Or am I the only goober in the bunch?

Extra Extra

Defamer has the best Brady baby blurb today. Just wanted to share.

Bridget Moynihan's publicist isn't telling the world the name of the actress's just-delivered baby. We suspect it's because she's trying convince Moynihan that while calling the boy Fuck Tom Brady might feel good right now, she'll probably regret it the moment she signs the birth certificate.

Nice!

Tuesday's Rotation

As I stated before, a little music will be involved in this blog as well. So, on Tuesdays I'll give you a little run down on what's playing in Rowdy Girl's rotation. Unfortunately, it's not Shaun Cassidy, but the minute I post this, I am going to search for him on iTunes. Anyhow... top five most played songs in the pod are...

1. Everyday I Love you Less and Less- The Kaiser Chiefs ...Standard song to run to, but be warned you may unknowingly begin to sing this aloud.
2. Young Folks- Peter Bjorn and John... I'm a little over it, but I can't control the tracks in the "most played" section.
3. Out of the Races and on to the Tracks- The Rapture... The most energetic, dirty, sexy band ever.
4. Girls & Boys- Blur... GIRLS WHO ARE BOYS, WHO LIKE BOYS TO BE GIRLS, WHO DO BOYS LIKE THEY'RE GIRLS...
5. Devil's A Go-Go- Blitzen Trapper... This band's out of Portland, OR, love their stuff, they rock out but they get a little hippie sometimes, which actually, I don't mind.

FROM THE OFFICE OF THE PARKING CLERK

The thing is... guys aren't the only ones who need a little non- committal action and they aren't the only ones that, after the action has been had, need that one night stand to hit the bricks. Unfortunately, there are times when that guy you picked up, just can't get to steppin' fast enough.

Here's the story, I was trying to get over an ex and decided one way to do so, was to go out, grab a guy and have a fun filled night of dirty sex. That's right, dirty sex, because when you're drinking beers at a show at a dive bar, there's nothing sweet or clean about it.

OK, spotted the guy... tall, cute AND alone, (no friends or girlfriends to compete with). Made my move and before I knew it, I was making him buy me a slice after the show and telling him he was giving me a ride home from the bar.

We get to my house which is located in a section of the city with absolutely no on-street parking. So, I tell him to come in, but that there's no need to look for parking, he can just leave the car double parked with the hazards on. Which, should translate to: "YOU WILL NOT BE STAYING HERE LONG", right?

We get in to my house and I put the moves on him, no conversation, no banter. We start making out and then we hit my bedroom, I grab a condom and tell him to put it on and then... it happened.

He apologized.

Apology? for what? Oh, I get it, it's over. And now, here is the issue... I have no desire to try for round 2, I certainly don't want a discussion, and I definitely don't want him spending the night and attempting the obligatory pity sex the next morning so he can save face. All I want to do is try to salvage that half empty carton of ice cream that has been in my freezer for 6 months, sit on my couch, watch some south park and pass out.

But alas, it was not that simple. He wanted to talk and he wanted to talk about the fact that he wasn't sure what was going on with his GIRLFRIEND at the moment! Next he asked for my number! Actually, he said, "Hey, I don't even have your number!" as to which my response was, "Oh, don't worry about it." Come on, it's 2am and I have received a big fat nothing from this escapade, do we really need to exchange digits? However, he was mortified by my response. I took his number.

I couldn't figure out what this guy was still doing in my living room. Thankfully I had office of the parking clerk on my side, because I told him he was probably going to be ticketed for double parking and he actually took this hint and left.

My question is this, is there some way to push a one night stand out of bed? What are your obligations to the ONS? Or is this just what we have to put up with in order to get some non committal action? Sort of like Russian Roulette. I mean, you got someone who wants to play, but you don't know what they're playing with til you get them home.

OK... I know you girls have some stories out there, so... let me hear them.

Up We Go

This is my first blog post, so please, chicas, bear with me. I am starting this blog, because, if you know me, you know that I have accumulated quite a few bizarre and amusing stories throughout my dating career and by sharing those stories I hope to find out, for myself, if I am alone in my comical yet sometimes freakish dating world.

Also, I really want people to laugh when they read this blog and occasionally walk away with some insight into dating. When I can, I will enlist some expert friends to weigh in on specific dating issues, so hopefully some legitimate info will be passed along to all of you reading.

This blog will also have some posts that reflect my own personal interests, like music and politics, but the main focus will be telling dating stories, the good, the bad and the one about the time I woke up after a romp and found a stuffed animal lying next to my head.

If any of you have suggestions for this blog, please pass them on to me and wish me luck in to this endeavor.